Jokes to Robble

- According to etiquette, men do it while standing, ladies do it seated, and dogs do it with one leg raised. That's right, it's a handshake.

- A blonde and a redhead are watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from a Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said: "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said: " No A bets a bet."

So the redhead said, "Listen I have to admit I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied: "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

- Boy: Do you have a pen?

Girl: Yeah, here you go.

Boy: Umm..its out of ink.

Girl: What?

Boy: It doesn't work.

Girl: Are you sure?

Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, you try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

- *Listening to your iPod*

Friend: What're you listening to?

You: This song *Passes headphones*

Friend: This song's old -__-

You: SO?! YOUR MUM'S OLD BUT YOU STILL LISTEN TO HER!

Friend: ...

- The lesbians next door asked me what I would like for my birthday.

I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex.

It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said "I wanna watch".

- Five Deadly Words Used By A Women:

#1:Fine:This is the word women used to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

#2:Nothing:This means something, and you should be wary.

#3:Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it!

#4:Whatever:Is a woman's way of saying F- YOU!

#5:That's okay: Means she wants you to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will

-Someone hacked into a blonde's computer account. The password was: MickeyGoofyPlutoDaisyCinderellaShrekDonkeyFionaWashingtonD.C. When asked why she had such a long password she replied that she was told it had to have at least eight characters and one capital.

- If I sleep to much, my parents complain. If I don’t get enough sleep, my parents complain. If I eat too much, my parents complain. If I don’t eat enough, my parents complain. If I’m always in my room, my parents complain. If I go out too much, my parents complain. I CAN’T WIN.

- When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C. The Russians used a pencil.

- ADDED TO DICTIONARY:

Mubarak(v.): To stick something, or to glue something. Example: "I will punch you and Mubarak you to the wall" OR "you can Mubarak the pieces to hold them together"

Mubarak (adj.): Slow to learn or understand. Example: "Why do you have to be so mubarak?!"

Mubarak (n.): A psychotic ex-girlfriend who fails to understand it's over

- Your car is Japanese. Your Vodka is Russian. Your pizza is Italian. Your kebab is Turkish. Your democracy is Greek. Your coffee is Brazilian. Your movies are American. Your beers are German. Your shirt is Indian. Your oil is Saudi Arabian. Your electronics are Chinese. Your numbers are Arabic, and your letters Latin. And you complain that your neighbor is an immigrant? Pull yourself together! like if you're against racism!

Xx

The Gypsy

The Irony

Now that everything has calmed down, I've noticed more and more ironies in this thing.

I've never been particularly fond on politics, like I've never been very interested in numbers, yet I seem to be following politics without any trouble, reminding me of the first time I scored a 50 out of 50 for Algebra and Statistics. Good times.

Egypt's never been very clean. People don't seem to care that they litter the street.

Now, there's been a few weeks of people not going to work, because they were busy protesting, busy standing up for Mubarak, busy trying to keep out from stress. So even the waste collectors stopped doing their job, which resulted in garbage in the streets and on piles being worse than ever. Now, seeing as even in winter times the weather is about 20º C out there, that means there's probably smells of rotting all over the place.

There was a whole group of volunteers (some of whom I know personally) in Alexandria, for example, who tried cleaning other people's rubbish. Now, suddenly everybody is going on about the litter, and there's the "Keep Egypt Clean" motto everywhere.

Also, in the beginning of this wonderful revolution, the entire government and army were so scared they blocked all forms of (social) media and communications otherwise. There was no twitter, no Facebook, after that they just cut off the entire internet, took down the mobile provider satellites and all tv-channels with an even slightly correct version of the truth, and watched the landlines like hawks. Now, people are getting frequent (daily) updates from the "Armed Forces" about how things are, that everything's safe and back to normal.

For some people though, it won't ever be "normal" again.

There's irony in when someone tells you that they have bad news, the first thing you think of is disease or death, unless you already in a situation that'll have a good/bad outcome. Then this someone tells you it's about someone who died, and your head will immediately make a list of all possibilities, which'll be crossed out as you ask, or when you hear.

It wasn't any of the ones I had in mind.

Unexpected blow, and a way of increasing your worry about that list you made in your head.

Mr. Adel, an ex-ex-neighbour (we moved first, then they moved, too. We still keep in touch though. Good people.) of ours, died roughly ten days ago. He couldn't handle the stress of Alexandria, and the country and people he loved, getting into such a position as badly as it was two weeks ago, had a brain hemorrhage, there were no ambulances working to take him, and after they'd gotten him to the Military Hospital where the doctors said that he'd be okay after taking a CT-scan, went into a coma within three hours and died two days later.

I couldn't believe it when I heard.

Part of me still doesn't, really. It's so far away, yet so damn close.

I feel it worst of all for his widow, one of the sweetest women in the world, and his two children.

Wish I could just, give them a big hug.

-------------

On a completely different note: I haven't been reading.

I haven't been able to concentrate enough to really like whatever I'm trying to read. (Big surprise there, right?)

I'm only on my fourth book since January. And guess what? That means I'm reading roughly two books a month. Which'll result in me having read 24 books by December. Which means I'll read even less than I did last year..

I better get into some kind of faster pace, else that's one wish/hope/want/fact/resolution down the drain. xD

Xx

The Gypsy.

So He Quit...

I can't help it.

It looks like Mecca.

But then more colourful.

Yesterday, the entire day was in the light of Mubarak's speech he was going to give in the evening, his own resignation. Everybody was looking forward to it, everybody was breathing victory that wasn't theirs yet..

Only I kept shrugging, not convinced. I was not going to believe it until I actually heard it, I'd decided. Last night, after remembering I hadn't eaten all day and had to cook for myself (there's my concentration alright..) I got a call from mum's friend, if I was on the edge of the couch waiting for Mubarak's speech like everyone else.

I wasn't.

I just heard an explanation of somebody who analyzed it all, comparing what has happened the past 19 days to a world-wide soap. Every day, something new would happen, every day the tension grew, and sometimes good news happened, sometimes it didn't.

Mubarak would keep prolonging, delaying, in the hope people would get bored and zap away.

The people demonstrating would do everything in their might to keep the whole world included, for their support, and every day would end with an actual cliffhanger. (Tomorrow, day of liberation. Tomorrow, day of anger. Tomorrow, day of freedom, Tomorrow, day of... )

Yesterday, after all they were hoping for, they had to deal with an immense disappointment of him not resigning. The crowd was like a hord of angry bees.

Today, Omar Sulaiman called in a conference to say Mubarak has stepped aside.

The first reaction was quiet disbelief (at least on my part). In the Tahrir Square, they are now celebrating as if Egypt was reborn.

Of course, this is just the beginning.

My second feeling, after the initial disbelief, was "Now what?"

Egypt's laws aren't equipped for democracy. Egypt's people have been told what to do by dictators for ever so long. Egypt's political elites doesn't have a very refreshing idea of what to do next, and the army, who is now "ruling"it, isn't going to do for the Egyptians.

There's an American politician involved in some way, too, and of course, the entire political world is getting involved over this. Only, the problem is, these Western countries are offering Western solutions, which won't fit in Egypt. The Arabic world would offer Arab solutions, which, really, aren't fit for Egypt either. It's a country that's somewhere in between, trying (and more often than not failing) to combine the best of both worlds. What Egypt really needs is a leader who understands all that, and can manage it in a way where most people (because everybody is impossible) are happy.

I'm thinking they'd also need to digitalize this.

How else are you going to count the votes of about 45 million people (assuming half? of Egypt's underage and can't vote yet) fairly?

So he quit..

It's the first step of many..

But at least it's a step, and Egypt's actually going somewhere.

Xx

The Gypsy

More Egypt in the news.

Another venting update for those who it concerns or are even slightly interested:

Internet is back in the land of the "Future Pharaohs".

And, seeing as they need money because they've got mouths to feed, they're trying to pick up going back to their lives, their jobs. Demonstrations are still going strong, though there're a fair few who stood up on Mubarak's side (whether they were paid to do it remains the question), and those who are genuinely sick and tired of all the chaos, and want their lives to go back to "normal".

Even those demonstrating are now divided between people who are alright with Mubarak staying till his term ends at the end of this year, which he announced in his latest "trying-to-win-back-the-Egyptians" speech, and the people who are still refusing even this, shouting their lungs out, even with the danger of their own lives, just to get him to step aside, go into exile or jump off a cliff.

I'm a supporter of any of the three.

The worst thing that happened in the past few days was the speech the Vice President Omar Sulaiman gave, though. In it, he accused foreigners of siding with "Israel and those Jews", either for creating the chaos, or for spying on Egyptians for the Jews.

This resulted in an immediate, palpable, change:

Foreigners, even those that have lived in Egypt for years, generally liked, respected and over all revered, are now either ignored or treated with animosity by a lot of people, by looks, but sometimes by threats, shouts, name-calling. A friend of my mother's has been told to bugger off to her own country, and a friend has been "arrested" and "roughed up" for a few days, blindfolded and all.

Seeing as this is /the/ most alarming development thus far, I don't know how to give things a place. People asking me how I am under this, how my family is, and people telling me not to worry. Even those in Egypt themselves. It's confusing. It's worrying.

But yeah. There you are.

That's life.

And shit happens.

Xx

The Gypsy

Tears..

I always believed that tears had healing powers.
That, when you cried, you felt relieved afterwards.

But, since I watched that stupid professor give his interview, about why you cry, and if it helps, I've become confused. Apparently, you feel the relief only when there is somebody around to comfort you. Then, it's the presence and support that comforts, not the tears. That it's company that chases away the hopeless feeling, pain or hunger, not the tears.

That you can use tears to manipulate and get your way. That tears are only for protection of those nearest you so they feel even more caring, eminating a sense of responsibility in any neutral person to protect you, and persuading someone with evil intentions to ease up on them.

Last night, I could say I cried myself to sleep. Only I didn't. Sleep would not come.

I cried till I had no tears left, and then got confused over why I didn't feel relieved. (Thank you very much, prof.) Am I that easily influenced? Somebody (Anybody) says something, and I immediately change my mind about it? Or was it just that my situation at that given time hadn't improved by crying. I found that I still rigidly believe crying can help, though. Just you. Not because of your surroundings, or your need to persuade anyone of anything. That it might relieve, makes you vent at least, and start seeing things in perspective.

But who knows?

I might be wrong.

Xx
The Gypsy

Spanish!

Classes started! :)

And I am (proudly) not that rusty as I thought I was.

I thought I'd slack, for some reason.

Course, I still might.

But I'm not counting on that.

I'm counting on both my motivation and self-discipline.

And I'm motivated to learn Spanish, alright! :D

Yesterday was the first class:

I learned to count to veinte (20), tried memorizing the Spanish alphabet,

and learned the most important question needed when learning Spanish:

¿Qué significa...?

or

¿Qué es... ? (But this one I knew x3)

:3

Yeeees.

I will get there.

+Motivated+

Hurray!

On an entirely unrelated note: Egypt Update:

Landlines are reachable in Egypt, sometimes. Mobiles and internet are still down.

Trains and other transportation is now down.

Criminals out of several (big) prisons have broken out and are roaming around.

(Dutch) Tourists are being called/hauled back for the instability and danger.

People there for work are also being brought back.

All flights to Egypt are cancelled.

Meaning, their biggest income: Tourism, will be collapsing at least for a short while.

They're going to have to "heal" from this, with any outcome..

Xx

The Gypsy